Archive for May, 2008

29
May
08

Proof that God loves Sci Fi.

so i think that my love of the nerdage and geekdom is fairly well documented. also, i think my devotion to the tv show battlestar galatica is commonly held knowledge.

i love that show. it’s smart and funny, and it’s about space and robots….and as i’ve often said, whatEVER time frame this show takes place in, humans and robot women alike, are hot as SNOT. bless the show creator’s tylium-plated hearts, but obviously they were nerds in high school *cough* and are making up for it now.

so, how is that proof that God loves sci-fi?

TA-DA!

thats starbuck/katee sackoff. she’s the buff one who looks like she wants to beat the piss out of you…and you’d enjoy every second of it.

Boomer/Number 8/Grace Park.

in the show, there are millions of her. yup, might as well throw the brain straight in the gutter.

Number 6/Tricia Helfer

she’s a total cylon, there’s been versions of her that have killed over versions of her, she’s been shacking up with humans and robots alike, and she has been half and 3/4’s naked more times than any other woman i’ve ever seen in the history of television.

you have my admiration, miss.

so there you have it! definitive proof that God loves Sci Fi…..

just try and imagine how the women from sex and the city would look in those outfits.

blech.

enough of thinking about bags of bones! lets end this blog on a high note.

Thank God for you Interview Magazine!

27
May
08

Tap Are Back……..

……. Well sort off.

Check out the link bellow, and enjoy Nigel Tuffnell from Spinal Tap in a recent discussion about Stonehenge!

As much as I like all the Christopher Guest’s work (Best In Show, For Your Consideration etc) I wish he’d do more Tap stuff. How great would it have been if their Live Earth gig last year lead to a full tour?!!!! Anyway, enjoy this………

www.roadrunnerrecords.com

27
May
08

Can someone in tv come up with a new damn idea??

So, we had american idol. 

just so you know, that show blows.  or it sucks.  either way, it doesn’t really matter because paula abdul is most likely hammered off her face currently. 

paulaabdul.JPG.jpg

Anyways, so american idol blows the doors off of the national tv scene, and EVERYONE and their awful sister networks have to get 7 different knock offs.  not just singing, but ice skating and inventions and dads hitting on their daughters while slut dancing and making fun of peoples moms…

whatever.  it doesnt matter.  it’s complete drivel and if you ENJOY that stuff, there’s plenty of IQ tests online to prove you’re an idiot.

but i’ve had enough.  TLC is launching a new $#!%-fest that has people imitating dancing from yesteryear, but also changing the dances they must do in mid dance.

WHAT?!?!?!?  THATS Caaaaaaaa-RAZEE!!  what ambitious young tv executive brainstormed on this idea.  honestly.  no, i’m serious.  

people have to learn moron dances from michael jackson videos from 1984, and then have to be able to change into doing the hammer dance when a gong rings.  

arrested development is cancelled, CANCELLED.  shows like this are blipping off tv all the time, and THIS is the garbage they dump on us.  

there are FOUR, yes i said effing FOUR, law and order shows.  you could have a damn law and order channel by itself, and for some God awful reason, we can’t manage to keep shows like arrested development on.  we wouldnt be able to get the latest dance with your mom, after olympic skeet shooting with amateur knife developing inventors.  

by the way, the host of the show is joey lawence.  and he’s bald.  

do i have to say anymore?  honestly?

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26
May
08

Why won’t anyone do their job?

I think the 15 year olds who work in retail have one goal in life…and that’s to make me hate my very existence. I go to (name giant electronic retail chain here) to buy speakers for my car. The pre-pubescent little ass clown working in the car audio department literally looks like he just crawled out of bed and came right to work. I can still see the sleep in his eyes and the pizza stains on his shirt. I ask him for some help on finding the right size and speaker type for my pimped out chick magnet (a.k.a. 1990 Honda Accord) and you’d think I just asked him to cut off one of his testicles and hand it to me, bronzed and gift wrapped. God forbid this kid gets off his ass and does his job…no…that would be too much to ask. He tells me to go to the front customer service desk and ask them because his computer is down. Meanwhile I see another computer not 3 feet away that is working fine…I kindly point this amazing anomaly to young Einstein to which he responds with a long distinctly audible sigh and says “fine”. As he turns away and walks towards the work station, I strongly hold back my urge to dropkick this no talent, waste of life, Fall Out Boy reject.
We reach the computer and after many failed attempts at logging in, cry me a river emo boy finally logs in and looks up my car’s correct speaker dimensions and tells them to me. I thank him kindly and ask him to show me some speakers that would fit my car. If I could see his eyes under that lame ass emo haircut where all his hair is combed over to one side and covering his face, I’m sure they would say “I’m so misunderstood, and I deserve better than this crappy job and this guy and his effin’ speakers…waaa waaa waaa” So he points out some speakers and I can’t help but notice they aren’t the size the computer says will fit my car, to which he responds “don’t worry dude, I know what I’m talking about, I’ve been doing this for a long time…they’ll fit” Against my better judgment, I listen to the reject from the AFI fanclub and buy the speakers. I’m sure you know how all this works out…the speakers of course don’t fit. Now I have to go back and exchange the speakers…and I’m sure standing in line for an hour and a half to talk to another 15 year old half wit and have him/her screw up my return is just how I want to spend my afternoon. I do know what will be fun, however. Paying a visit to captain emo with half a brain is going to be fun. Because I’m going to shove my foot so far up this kids ass he’s going to be flossing with my shoe laces. This kid wants to cry about his crappy job and his misunderstood life…I’m going to give him a reason to cry. I’m not leaving until I make this kid cry…I’m gonna be on him like a fat kid on cake. He will rue the day…sorry for the rant…but I had to vent.

25
May
08

Courtney Love comments

I mentioned this on air with our ROCK FEUDS list.

Here’s the link to Ms Love’s comments.

23
May
08

Rockers with the hottest wives list.

ok, im doing my own list. i dont know if we’re gonna play it this weekend on the everybody loves lists weekend, but who cares! pictures of hot women are good any day of the week.

1. nikki sixx and donna d’errico

life is beautiful? really? ya think?

2. the PROFESSIONAL rocker wife…pam anderson.

please. dont lie. you’d sell your soul to add your name to the list….even after tommy lee and kid rock.

3. hottest EX wives kate hudson/shanna moakler/liv tyler

kate was married to chris robinson of the black crowes. i think my brain just died.  kate, obviously, you dig guys with beards….check my page, k, thx, bi.

shanna was married to travis barker from blink 182. she also gets points for trying to beat the $%^& outta paris hilton

liv tyler just seperated from the hubby, lead singer of spacehog (in the meantime). the triple threat, cause her dad is a rocker as well (aerosmith, dummy) AND was in the lord of the rings movies. the nerd in me just swooned.

4. dirtiest rock wife. tera patrick. married to evan seinfeld from biohazard.

i was looking for some pics, and my computer nearly burst into flames. yowza.

ok….i think im gonna stop now. ive had so many warnings about the corporate porn filter that they’re probably tracking my every move now.

it’s not my fault rockers love the naked ladies! i’m just trying to write a blog!

23
May
08

How did that, “HAPPEN”?

 The krock crew was out last night at the premier screening of “Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the Crystal Skull” which i was lucky enough to host.  It was my honor to introduce the cast, and meet and even if for a brief period actually talk to HARRISON FORD. I mean here he is, Indy, HAN SOLO, The president who told Gary Oldman to ” Get off my plane” in “Air force one”!. You know me, not one to name drop, UNLESS IT IS A B LIST CELEB BONANZA AS IT WAS AT THE SCREENING!. I mean there were celebs a plenty in the house, everywhere I looked!. First one spotted: Dean WInters ( Ryan Oreilly from “OZ”), Half of SNL Seth Myers, Rachael Dratch, Will from “Will and Grace” (who seemed nice and polite),  but the one who seemed to always be in my view whenever I looked was  Adam Duritz of Counting Crows,…ok not really my thing his band but what the heck Ive gotta respect the guy, he is a bonafide rock star……….. I wonder who he’s with?……..So while I’, waiting to go introduce the cast on stage, I was just kind of milling around out in the hall by the candy stand, where Adam Duritz was waiting in line for some ju ju bees or something. Then before I knew it this willow, sultry, amazing, super model runs up to him and grabs his arm…. NO WAY I thought!. Upon closer look, past the stiletto heels and the white trench coat, she was; IVANKA TRUMP!. Hot does not even begin to describe, I mean she is STUNNING in person and here she was with this wanna be, poseur beat nick,…….  How did that HAPPEN? and how does THAT guy pull that sort of magic trick off, over and over again?.  Has he made some unholy bargain with SATAN himself?……….. I think the answer is probably  a lot simpler than that: Dude, I gotta get in  a band, obviously even a crap band will do!.

 

 That is all, END TRANSMISSION!