Archive for the 'Bracket Brawl' Category

01
Apr
08

March Bracket Brawl Recap

It’s been a while between blogs, but somebody had to count every single bracket that was submitted.

Before I give the recap I just wanted to give a heads up on how I did. If you followed my expert advice you would have done miserable just like me. I didn’t even get a single final 4 right!!!! My magical match of AC/DC Vs. AC/DC was destroyed in the 2nd round, and did you hear about Tom Petty. UGH!

The second round had some classic battles. Soundgarden took down Sublime for all of the Alice in Chains fans. Incubus took out System of a down. Hagar fans struck one last time by helping The Rolling Stones take out Van Halen (Roth). Tool beat down Greenday. And of course, Jimi Hendrix BARELY beat out AC/DC (Bon SCOTT).

Semi’s just made it that more intense. Pearl Jam just edged out the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Foo Fighters (who were a number one seed) struggled against Incubus, but won in the end by 4% of the votes. Tool slid by Linkin Park. And Led Zeppelin FINALLY took out Pink Floyd.

The road to the last 4, Zeppelin Vs. Jimi, Metallica Vs. G N’ R, Pearl Jam Vs. Nirvana, Tool Vs. Foo Fighters. Looking at these matches how is anyone supposed to choose who is better. Well, people did. Led Zeppelin had a pretty easy time against Jimi Hendrix. Metallica found a way to take out Guns N’ Roses. Pearl Jam stole it from Nirvana by less then 2%. And for the biggest upset of all, Tool demolished Foo Fighters by the biggest margin in the final few rounds.

Led Zeppelin (60’s, 70’s) take on Metallica (80’s). Pearl Jam (90’s) against Tool (Now). Led Zeppelin started showing their age, and when Metallica came on (as my boy CT put it) “they were rockin’ harder then they’ve ever rocked before”. Metallica put a stomping on Led Zeppelin. Tool had been the sleeper of the brackets. They were wiping the floor with everyone they went against and all they needed to do was get past the boys in Pear Jam. Eddie Vedder waved his hand at Tool like Patrick Ewing and said “Not in my house”. It was another close battle and Pearl Jam came out on top with less then 2% of the votes.

Final round. Metallica. Pearl Jam. PURE CRAZINESS.

Metallica has cruised by every round. The toughest match was against Guns N’ Roses who they took out with over 56% of the votes. Pearl Jam on the other hand gave the biggest beat down in March Bracket Brawl history by taking out Beck with over 94% of the votes. They seemed to take out STP pretty easily, but after that they took on The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, and Tool. The average win total between those three victories was 51.6%. The final round came down to a coin flip. Somehow the coin wound up on its rim and we had to go to overtime. After hearing both bands rock one last time we found ourselves a champion. With less then a 1% difference in votes METALLICA are the winners.

Trophies

Winner of March Bracket Brawl – Metallica

60’s and 70’s Bracket – Led Zepplin
80’s Bracket – Metallica
90’s Bracket – Pearl Jam
Now Bracket – Tool

Biggest Beat Down – Pearl Jam 94.1% over Beck 5.9%

Closest Match – Offspring 50.4% over Bush 49.6%

Biggest Upset – Sublime over Alice in Chains

Biggest Sleeper – Tool (made it to the last 4)

Cheated the Most – Van Hagar Fans

Who Needed to Cheat More – Tom Petty

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20
Mar
08

Recap of the first round…

Sigh of relief… If you did not hear, there was a bomb scare right across the street from our building. Everyone was a little nervous and didn’t know where it came from. In the end it was just some random person’s briefcase and not a package left by Hagar fans.

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The first round is over and so is the chance to win a huge TV for some of you. I myself am a little worried after some of my sleepers overslept and screwed me, but I’m still optimistic. That’s why they call me Optimist Prime!!! BAM!!!

Below is a ranking of how hard you ROCK.

32 Correct – (Perfect Score) – You have taken courses at the school of Van Hagar and passed with a 4.0. (Some people should take a hint, if you’re gonna cheat don’t get caught)

28-31 Correct – You either failed the final test in the school of Hagar and it bit you in the bum or you do nothing with your life except listen to K-ROCK. Either way the TV is still in your grasp

21-27 Correct – If only you could have taught your grandparents how to text on their cell phone. You went with Alice in Chains over Sublime, Bush over Offspring, Black Sabbath over Aerosmith, Smashing Pumpkins over Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails over Stone Temple Pilots. It was a coin flip every time and you stuck with tails. If you examined closely you’d see that Hagar struck again, heads was on both sides! UGH!

13-20 Correct – In the back of your head you can picture the huge 73” TV sitting on the bedroom floor. There is no room to move (or for your dresser which is now in your garage). But you are a die hard fan. You’ve loved Nickleback since the day you thought Chad Kroeger was speaking to you when he said “Look at this Photograph”. You felt the need to tear when Live’s front-man spoke about dolphin’s crying. Looking back to your high-school days you remember that Beck’s song “Loser” was your anthem. So even though you know that these bands probably have no chance in winning you choose them anyway. What a good sport. Thanks for playing, have a nice day.

2-12 Correct – I have no idea what you were thinking. Did you cheat off of a Def Leppard? I take it back. There is a chance that you were just over thinking things. Well, you over thought a lot. Next time I suggest picking names from a hat.

1 Correct – Please sign up for the School of Van Hagar. They should be able to teach you a thing or two. I’ve heard that there is a new school that is open for half the price. It’s called “The School of Gary Cherone”. The rates aren’t bad, so it doesn’t hurt to check out.

0 Correct – Here is were you find all of the fans of Beck and Tom Petty. We appreciate you playing the game, thanks for the frustration and thanks for getting blown out!

18
Mar
08

Talk about “HeartBreakers”!!!

I walked in the office today sporting my green jersey and hat in celebration of St. Patty’s day. I forgot about last week and how I missed a few big games (Aersomith over Black Sabbath, Rage over Smashing Pumpkins and Def Leppard over Billy Idol). The matches that I lost were extremely close (excluding Billy Idol) so I’m not so furious, not to mention none of those bands were going too far in my bracket. Back to today. AC/DC and U2 huge winners. Nice way to start things off. Now I have a 3 hour break before the match of the day “Pink Floyd” vs. “Tom Petty”.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew (thanks Joe) that walking in to today Floyd has an advantage, but let’s go through some recent stats on these two bands.

Tom Petty –
• Born 1950 in Gainesville, Florida. – (-1)
• He sings, plays guitar, bass, drums, piano and the HARMONICA. – (+ 3)
• Has a Hollywood walk of Fame Star – (+7)
• Has had Kim Basinger star in a video – (+5)
• Worked with Rick Rubin (all rock fans know he is the man) – (+5)
• He looks like one of the Muppets – (-10)
• He ROCKED OUT at the Super Bowl – (+20)

Tom Petty

as

Pink Floyd
• Started in 1964 – (+2)
• They come from England – (-5) (No offense Ian)
• Their music makes Librarians seem edgy and cool – (-15)
• They did a lot of drugs – (+40)

So going into this epic battle the numbers seemed to be close on paper.

From the get go it looks like SOMEBODY forgot to show up. His name… Tom Petty. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU DUDE. Did you forget what time tip-off was today? DUDE!!! You’ve had over a week to prepare for this!!! COME ON!!! You were my sleeper, and by sleeper I didn’t mean one who sleeps. GOSH DARNIT!!! You were supposed to take down Led Zeppelin. You didn’t even bother showing up for Floyd. I guess you had a rough day yesterday. You knew you couldn’t party for St. Patty’s day so you got drunk and did some research on your opponent. I’m assuming halfway through researching the song “Money” you started snoozing and never recovered. How sad. I guess Floyd knows what they are doing. Take an opponent out before the game even begins.

  • Winner – Pink Floyd

-Pete in Promotions

15
Mar
08

Van Hagar Vs Beastie Boys

DQ anyone? And I’m not talking about “Blizzard”.

This was another hyped up match with a lot of trash talking before the game. The Beastie Boys were thinking that their pre-warm-up rap would scare away Sammy and the Brothers Van Halen. Dead wrong! The Van Halen boys start running circles over the Beastie Boys. Eddie, shreds like a rock star should, Sammy downs “Cabo Wabo” like no man should (cause the stuff is horrible, and no man should touch it), and Alex… well he’s just boring. They jump out to a huge lead and beastie boys can’t do anything except keep their “Body Movin”. 1st half ends and Van Halen are in a clear lead. Sammy starts saying how after they win the whole thing he’s going to go to “Panama” and relax. 2nd half starts off the same way and the Beastie Boys look like they are “Sure Shot” out of luck. They bring out their “Brass Monkey” and rub it for good luck, but rubbing their monkey doesn’t seem to help the situation at the moment. Next thing you know Gary Cherone runs out from backstage and onto the court trying to catch his breath. “So What’cha Want”, cries out AD-ROCK. “I’ve got proof that this is ‘Sabotage”, Says Van Cherone. Looking at Sammy, “we need you to fill up this cup, and not with that crap you call tequila”. Sammy replies, “Right Here “Right Now”? While test results are coming in Cherone talks to Eddie and begs for his job back. BAM! Cherone gets cracked in the back of the head with a cymbal that was flung across the arena by Alex.

After further review it seems that not only did Sammy consume too much “Cabo Wabo”, he tested positive for HGH. As Sammy pours the last drop of “Cabo Wabo” into his shot glass he looks at the bottle and thinks to himself “Why Can’t This Be Love”? Beastie Boys in a joyous state gather up their posse, scream “Hey Ladies” “No sleep till… Brooklyn”….

Winner – Beastie Boys by Disqualification

07
Mar
08

“NOW” Bracket

So here we go. The most talked about bracket. Who was picked? Who wasn’t picked? Where is Staind? The word on the street is they got lost on the way to the stadium, so they missed the signups and were disqualified. What about Korn? I hear it’s a mix of missing too many guys, and they still haven’t wrapped up the unplugged tour yet (guys, please take a hint from Glade and “Plug it in, Plug it in”). There are still plenty of other solid picks in this bracket. And one or two of these bad boys can take the whole tournament.

Top Rated Match – Linkin Park Vs Weezer

Let me start off by saying I am a huge Weezer fan and have been following them since the blue album. They never seem to disappoint and Rivers Cuomo is pure genius. Seriously, the guy graduated from Harvard! That’s no joke. They have a tough matchup in Linkin Park. Start to finish LP has put out 3 incredible albums. I remember hearing the first single “One Step Closer” and saying to myself “this kid Chester can really be something.” I was right, ‘cause that’s how I roll.

Prediction- Weezer stumbles onto the stage a little taken aback by the spotlight. No time to think ‘cause here comes Mike Shinoda as he starts rapping around Rivers head. “Only In Dreams” do you usually see what Shinoda is dishing out. It feels like for the hundreth time he slams home another one in the face of Matt Sharp, who decided to rejoin the band for this little shindig. Thanks Matt, much love. As the first half wraps up it looks like everything is all but “Undone (The Sweater Song)” for Weezer. Second half starts up and Rivers yells “Dope Nose” to Ashlee Simpson, who happens to be sitting in the front row. She waves. Chester and Shinoda continue where they left off, a few give-and-gos and some alley-oops from half court and this looks like it’s a wrap. All of a sudden Rivers takes out his “Hash Pipe” and cracks Chester in the back of the head with it. Shinoda looks like he’s become “Numb” as he starts “Crawling” to his buddy on the floor while Chester “Bleeds It Out” of the back of his head. “Say it Ain’t So”, flagrant foul? What game were you watching ref? “In The End” Weezer gets disqualified after using a fake ID of “Buddy Holly” to purchase beer at the concession stand. How disappointing.

  • Winner – Linkin Park
  • Favorite in the NOWGreen Day (Bam, whatcha gonna do about it?)
  • SleeperSystem Of A Down. This band has the biggest sleeper potential of them all. No way do I see them having a problem till the 3rd or 4th round. Even then, you can almost put them down as a lock for final 4…
  • Most likely to start a mud fightGreen Day
  • Most likely to cry when they get hit with the mudNickelback

UPCOMING POTENTIAL MATCHES

The first rounds have some pretty great matches, but let’s look ahead to what we may see in the next round.

2ND Round Potential Matches

  • Led Zeppelin Vs The Who (70’s)
  • Van Halen (Roth) Vs Rolling Stones (70’s)
  • Jimi Hendrix Vs AC/DC (Bon Scott) (70’s)
  • Ozzy Osbourne Vs Bon Jovi (80’s)
  • Gun’s N Roses Vs Beastie Boys (80’s)
  • U2 Vs Motley Crue (80’s)
  • Stone Temple Pilots Vs Pearl Jam (90’s)
  • Nirvana Vs Bush (90’s)
  • Soundgarden Vs Alice In Chains (90’s)
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers Vs Smashing Pumpkins (90’s)
  • Tool Vs Green Day (Now)
  • Linkin Park Vs White Stripes (Now)

WOW… I can’t wait!!!

Pete in Promotions

06
Mar
08

90’s Bracket

This is by far my favorite bracket. There are so many huge matches in the first round… “The prices are INSANE” (thanks Crazy Eddie). Seriously, Nine Inch Nails against Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains Vs Sublime, Smashing Pumpkins knocking heads with Rage Against The Machine. SHEESH! These are all great bands in my eyes and there is no clear cut winner.

Top Rated Match – Smashing Pumpkins Vs Rage Against The Machine

Looking at these bands you think there is a clear mismatch. Frontman Billy Corgan stands at 6’3 while Zach De La Rocha is about 5’11. Also, another thing the Pumpkins seem to be sporting besides height is girl power. BAM, right there it should be over. But don’t forget Tom Morello. The guy is ranked #26 guitarist of all time. So get ready to bang some heads for this historical match.

Prediction – Billy Corgan of the Pumpkins is a defensive champ. His height is a huge advantage, and he continues to throw it in Rage’s face. You have “ZERO” chance of winning this one, chump. Despite all Billy’s rage, Zach and crew keep the score close enough going into halftime. Zach convinces his team to “Wake Up” and start playing dirty. If need be, the team should start “Killing In The Name” of Ozzy Osbourne. Tom Morello takes the hint and pulls out his special weapon, the Digital Whammy. This weapon triggers all types of craziness, as bulls on parade and guerillas from radios storm into the arena. Chaos ensues, until from the rafters James friggin’ Iha flies in while “Bullets With Butterfly Wings” float over his head. One by one he “Disarms” Rage Against The Machines weapons. During this brawl no one seems to pay attention to Darcy of Smashing Pumpkins as she sinks shot after shot of Southern Comfort. Seeing that the time is running out Billy picks Darcy up and makes her sink the final bucket. WTF just happened???

  • Winner – Smashing Pumpkins
  • Favorite in the 90’s – Nirvana
  • Sleeper Sublime (Something tells me that they are going to go very far in this contest.)
  • Most likely to not get out of the first round alive (well, definitely not the lead singer)– (Tie) Alice In Chains/Sublime
  • Most likely to lose because they don’t have a full SquadOasis (I guarantee that one of the Gallagher brothers will not show up for one reason or another)

If we did a one hit wonder match – Blur (“Song 2”) defeats Hum (“Stars”)

> Back to the brackets 

– Pete in Promotions

05
Mar
08

Pete from Promotion’s Picks

March Bracket Brawl

The time has finally come. We will finally have a true champion who will be able to raise the trophy and say, “we are the #1 Rock Band”, for March of ’08 at least.

Going through the brackets I see some amazing matches in the first rounds as well as potential matches. Blood, Sweat, no “Tears for Fears”, but plenty of Hair will be rocked this month. For all rock fans, be ready to put your Rock Horns up and enjoy the ride.

70’s BRACKET:

Yes, a lot of these people are dead or closer to their 70’s, but I guarantee they are rocking the grave or potential grave.

Top Rated Match

Aerosmith Vs Black Sabbath

Aerosmith is the favorite before tip off, but I can’t imagine this being a blowout by any means. Steven Tyler may have a mouth that can swallow up the entire east-coast, but in the midst of him singing “Dude looks like a Lady” the dude should be looking at what is coming from below. Between Tony Iommi’s nasty left handed riffs to Ozzy biting off the heads of bats, birds and any ref that gives him a foul, Aerosmith doesn’t seem to have enough in the tank to come out on top.

Prediction- Joe Perry makes a late run sinking solo after solo and surprising the audience with a new flavor of “Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Hot Sauce”. Ozzy mistake’s Joe Perry’s head as a nacho and slam dunks the game winning basket.

  • Winner – Black Sabbath

Favorite in 70’s Bracket– Led Zeppelin

Sleeper Pick – After rocking the Super Bowl halftime show, Tom Petty has the momentum to do what the Giants did and bring down the big dogs. Can he take out Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin? I wouldn’t be shocked if Petty found his way in the Final 4.

Favorite to get by the 1st round with out breaking a bone –
AC/DC (Bon Scott)

80’s BRACKET:

I feel these bands have worked the hardest to get where they are in this bracket. The hours of preparation gone into making sure they were in the top 16. Now I understand and I know that a lot of people would like an asterisk next to a few of these bands, but in all honesty “Hair Spray” and “Makeup” was not made illegal to the game until early 90’s. So, I think for those of you who are judging these bands, get passed the fact that you are jealous over their looks and focus in on their lyrics. Look at songs like “Pour Some Sugar on Me”, “Girls, Girls, Girls” (both the Beastie Boys and Motley Crue), and “Talk Dirty To Me”…. Wait a sec, is it true? It is. Poison seems like the first band to be snubbed by the Selection Committee. I guess Bret Michaels has to get back to working on his music rather then working on his love life.

Top Rated Match

Def Leppard Vs Billy Idol

Def Leppard starts off with a slight edge because Billy Idol has to take on these animals by himself, but don’t think that’s gonna stop Billy from keeping it close. Don’t get me wrong, the chemistry behind Def Leppard is pretty impressive and they can totally run the table on this guy, but on the other hand, he still makes rocking a leather jacket look cool. So this is definitely a tougher match then it looks.

Prediction- Tip-Off. Def Leppard throws down catchy chorus after catchy chorus and by half-time it looks like they are “Bringin on the Heartbreak” to Billy Idol and his fans. Second Half seems to be a different story though, Def Leppard isn’t “Foolin” Billy Idol that easy. He walks in with freshly bleached hair and like a rebel he yells as he steps on the court. He begins to feel the music, throws on his leather jacket, and starts putting on the craziest show of a lifetime where it looks like he’s just dancing with himself. DAMN, he’s good. With seconds left Billy Idol sinks a free throw to put him up by one due to a bad call by the referee. Supposedly a “Four Letter Word” was attempted by Def Leppard in 2002 and they were given a technical foul (but no one has any recollection of this ever happening). Final shot is up and no good. Def Leppard losses by an arm.

  • Winner – Billy Idol

Favorite in 80’s Bracket – Metallica

Sleeper Pick – Bon Jovi (True, they are a higher seed so that doesn’t make them a sleeper. Due to being a home team though, I feel they have a chance to go far in this contest.)

Whose mascara will be run the most – Twisted Sister (Dee Snider is an animal and has potential to take down U2. Regardless of what happens in the tournament, someone has to give him some tips on the makeup. TOO MUCH!!!)

The band with the most sex videos – Motley Crue

> Back to the brackets