13
May
08

This man is a GOD.

honestly, he’s added jennifer aniston to his list.

John Mayer, the man who wants to bust through the doors of his high school and get white people to dance with the almighty geetar has landed jennifer aniston.

i dont even know if this dude has put out anything new in the past 5 years, but obviously he’s got something the women’s are loving.

so i did some searching. this is the lady’s who have been with john mayer over the years.

1. Vanessa Carlton.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

3. Rhona Mitra

4. Jessica Simpson

5. Penelope Cruz

6. Cameron Diaz

7. Minka Kelly

And now Jennifer Aniston.

I’m gonna say this. Do i like his music? no.

but this dude is my new freaking hero. look at that line-up! are you F*$%^&$%(^& kidding me?!?!?!? i honestly dont know anyone off the top of my head that could POSSIBLY have a better batting average EVER. that dude is mickey mantle, sinatra, and every member of def leppard rolled into one. and he has all his arms.

i’ve never even heard of minka kelly, but look at her! who cares!

at this point, i’ve got to wonder if he isn’t clubbing them over the head with a guitar and dragging them off to a cave or something. maybe he’s boring them to sleep with another meaningless riff. i gotta get me some lessons again and figure out how to play “Your Body is a Wonderland”.

John Mayer is officially a God.

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3 Responses to “This man is a GOD.”


  1. 1 Boo Boo
    May 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    How much fun did you have writing this blog and doing “research” for it?

  2. 2 Andy
    May 14, 2008 at 2:10 am

    J love hewitt pic aint workin, fix it!! hopefully one from like 8-9 years ago right?

  3. 3 Fake Jill
    May 23, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    If you need to learn how to play “my body is a wonderland”, I’d definitely help you out, man. I know DJ’s have a hard time scoring hot chicks, so the more help the better, right?

    …wait a second – didn’t you say you were engaged?

    Maybe you shouldn’t be so damn greedy and give the guitar lessons to the rest of us!


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