the dance song sweeping america!

catchy, right?

 

YO, IM RECESSION PROOF SON!

 I will no longer spend tons on New Era etc, caps are just not a necessity in these frugal times. Ive found a way to beat the system!. I shall be rocking this hairstyle until these bleak economic times leave us!. This is quite possibly the most amazing picture ever! This guy is a GOD!.

 

 That is all, END TRANSMISSION!

There’s no business LIKE HO BUSINESS!

Remember Heidi Fleiss? yeah the “Hollywood madam”?………YEAH. Well I guess when you get busted for that sort of thing, go to jail, do your time, you get a book deal, and a reality show, and a bizillion dollars, RIGHT?….WROOOOOONG!. YOU get, wait for it, WAIT FOR IT………. YOU GET RO RUN A LAUNDROMAT IN PAHRUMP, NEVADA!!…..Ahhh, there’s no business like HO BUSINESS!

 

 

 

 Wait, SLOW DOWN: Didn’t she used to be, I don’t know,….Kinda hot?……………..Wow, how the mighty have fallen, guess Ill have to stick with this radio thing after all!

 

That is all, END TRANSMISSION!

Curse part deux!; THE BRONX IS BURNING!

Remember the construction worker that tried to “curse” the Yankees  months ago by revealing that he had by buried a Red Sox Jersey (specifically that of  devastating slugger:  David ” BIG PAPI” Ortiz; WHO THE YANKEES COULD HAVE HAD ON THE TEAM BUT INSTEAD OPTED FOR A PLAYER WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS!!!) in the foundation of the $1.3 billion dollar new stadium?. Oh it was beautiful! The NY DA would not file charges, the Yankees wanted to sue the guy, and the red sox auctioned off the actual  Jersey for a huge ransom donating the money to charity……………. And wound up looking like god’s in the process. Well, hold onto your rabbits feet pinstripe fans, THIS JUST IN: According to MSNBC, the construction worker has since revealed to fiends that he has buried other articles in the foundation as well, ones that will not be so easily found and retrieved. Most troubling of them would be a program from the 2004 Yankees/Red Sox series,……you know, the one the red sox came back to win when they were down 0-3?………………. This could be a long, hot summer in Da Bronx!. On the other side though, ya gotta admire the guy’s stones to pull a hair brained scheme like that…………….. If it gets under your skin, you can always look at the Yankees eleventy hundred bazillion championships for some comfort!.

 

That is all, END TRANSMISSION!

My New Favourite Book………

I recently finished reading the Slash autobiography. Which was fascinating, while being terribly written, but then you get the impression the stories were related in the way he told them to the ghost writer, no doubt in a bar, while smoking. A lot.

Anyway, I was looking for my next book and one of my friends told me about Asshole.. This is a true story of a guy who works in advertsing and realises he is too nice cos the assholes around him are always the ones the get the girl, make the money and have the best life. So he embarks on an experiement to become an asshole and improve his situation.

I am only four chapters in, but it’s great so far and hilarious. I do fear there may be some morality tale at the end though, where he decides to go back to being nice. I may stop reading before this point.

from the de-den-den-daaaaa, de-den-daaaa dept.

I just had a fight. The argument kind, not the physical one. A girl I know tried to tell me that when Indiana Jones 4 comes out, it will bomb. Horribly. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WRONG WRONG WRONG! Here’s why:

1. Releasing the film on Memorial Day weekend. When less people are travelling since gas is at 4 bucks a gallon, they need something to do. Movie! Perfect!

2. This is in the timeline. Unlike the new Star Wars films, people want to know what happened with Dr. Jones after The Last Crusade, not before.

3. Harrison Ford’s films, especially his action films, do well.

4. It’s one of the most hyped movies of the year and people are drawn to the hype.

5. IT’S INDIANA FRICKIN’ JONES DUMMY! If Iron Man can pull in 100+ million, this will kill that.

I presented all of these facts to her, and she still disagrees. Dummy. You can’t deny the hat and the whip. We

Remember when you got all upset….

cause maxim named you the ugliest woman on the planet?

yea, you’re not helping the situation.

Madonna

So I didn’t think I’d be writing about Madonna on my K-rock blog, but check this out!

She did a gig at the weekend in Maidstone. That’s in Kent, in the UK, you don’t ever need to go. In fact to get there Madonna was flown in by hellicopter, even though her London house is only around 30 miles away. Believe me, if you had to play in Maidstone, you’d do the same, just to know you could exit quickly after the show to get the hell out of Kent.

Anyway, check out this footage of her rocking some Pantera on the guitar! It’s about 6 mins in if you wanna skip the rest……..

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=96873

Of course none of the UK press have picked up on this. They just made a big thing out of the fact there was live TV coverage and apparently Madonna told the director there were to be no close ups if she started to sweat! But then most people in the UK have no idea who Pantera are, let alone would recognise a random riff in the middle of a Madonna show. Just another reason on my ever expanding list as to why America is much better!

Sue Simmons drops the F bomb

Everyones got their favorite newscaster, and mine has always been Sue Simmons. She is tough as nails! She is no nonsense. Something about her screams ‘don’t fuck with me’. I guess my vibe is right, cuz last night she actually dropped the F bomb on live TV. I love her!!!

This man is a GOD.

honestly, he’s added jennifer aniston to his list.

John Mayer, the man who wants to bust through the doors of his high school and get white people to dance with the almighty geetar has landed jennifer aniston.

i dont even know if this dude has put out anything new in the past 5 years, but obviously he’s got something the women’s are loving.

so i did some searching. this is the lady’s who have been with john mayer over the years.

1. Vanessa Carlton.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

3. Rhona Mitra

4. Jessica Simpson

5. Penelope Cruz

6. Cameron Diaz

7. Minka Kelly

And now Jennifer Aniston.

I’m gonna say this. Do i like his music? no.

but this dude is my new freaking hero. look at that line-up! are you F*$%^&$%(^& kidding me?!?!?!? i honestly dont know anyone off the top of my head that could POSSIBLY have a better batting average EVER. that dude is mickey mantle, sinatra, and every member of def leppard rolled into one. and he has all his arms.

i’ve never even heard of minka kelly, but look at her! who cares!

at this point, i’ve got to wonder if he isn’t clubbing them over the head with a guitar and dragging them off to a cave or something. maybe he’s boring them to sleep with another meaningless riff. i gotta get me some lessons again and figure out how to play “Your Body is a Wonderland”.

John Mayer is officially a God.